12.

SWEET DISJOINTED NOTHINGS
-----

we wrote letters
in the margins of borrowed letterhead
finding life
by defacing the stark white
our ideas
age old
and worn
but hell,
the handwriting
was our own.

I've written proclamations of discerning honesty
don't believe, just know
that my mind will wander as far
as you want to go
a short walk gone on too long
dreaming keeps reality wrong
i just can't quite tell what the fuck is going on
i want to be gone
'til this feeling, these feelings are done.

i've been rubbing spent lead
blurring the message, keeping bold words unsaid
my letters are capital
my postcards left unsent
no address, not knowing where the fuck i went
would i have been if this hadn't?
no, nothing's happened.
it has never stopped happening
like one long, long day
with no night
to make it go away

I've made long lists
of that which is wrong with me
seeing the unsaid
so it'll never have to really be
i listen more than i could ever dream to say
these conversations only go in one sickening way
circles started miles ahead
ideas are inherited dreams
stolen from our forefathers' beds

death through obvious action
i'm crawling out feet below
do better at what?
this nothing job?
i won't tread any faster

i hope there's something profound
in the way our feet touch the ground
i hope there's hidden meaning
in the way that i've been feeling
and if silence was a song
then at least we'd all be singing along